Not all who wander are lost….. This is probably one of my
favourite sayings by an amazing writer, an author of one of the greatest tales
ever known to man ‘The Lord of The Rings’ by JRR Tolkien. It has been a phrase
to keep solidarity within me in moments of my life where I have compared my
free spirit to the homebound soul, the comfortable housewife or the dedicated
career person. At times in life I have stood next to these ‘pillar people’ and
felt inferior. Why could I not settle into a career straight out of school,
finish university or marry my high school sweet heart? Because I wander about
wonder….
I see so many loved ones in my life, like me, thinking they
are lost because they cannot ‘settle’, their view is that they need to find a
‘life path’ or a ‘definition of self’ to justify their existence and that
somehow it will make them happy….a view point I cannot judge as it is one that
I come face to face with over and over in life. But bringing myself to the
centre of my heart and realising that maybe….just maybe I AM living my dream by
simply being a good friend, a dedicated mother and a committed free
spirit….maybe my existence is justified in that alone.
Seeking personal
definition within another person….or a career or a university degree is not a
necessity…..who you are is here….now…. in those blank moments of day dream in
the afternoon sun, or the goose-bumps of awe you feel when listening to your
favourite music, that moment of sleepy clarity that comes in the limbo between
awake and asleep….there YOU are…..nothing more and nothing less and why do you
need anything more to be happy?
Now this does not suggest you should sit back and do nothing
with life - to seek is to stay in touch with the magick in life, to seek is to
find beauty, to seek is to discover adventure…..and that is blessed….. and I
think sometimes – especially for people like me – to seek leads me to unveil
that place of solace within that comes from wandering – I am not lost…..I am
not inferior….. I am a gypsy soul in search of the magick in this universe that
lights my soul day after day after day. And so life brings me experience after
experience to show me mirrors of myself and time after time I have been freed
by the experience of life and the way that it has shown me who I am and how
beautiful the colours of my heart do meld into the colours of the universe
around me…..I have learnt to love
everyone and everything with the experience of adventure as the wisdom in my
stride.
Do not define yourself by anything other than your own heart
and soul, your job does not make you a better person – your open heart does,
the amount of money in your bank account does not make you rich-your spirit
does, your relationship does not make you stable-your connection to the world around
you does…..You are what is within…..and the rest is just the costume you wear
to the party. So enjoy the show, dance and be merry in your capes and masks but
know that the realness of your humanness is within the veils of what you put to
the world and it is as beautiful as you wish it to be.
To star gaze…..
To dream….
To sing with my eyes closed and let my voice raise my skin
in tingles of light and love….
To wander….and never be lost for I know that I am always
where I belong…….within the colours of my own heart…..
EarthyFaexoxox