From Earth to Ocean....

I have always felt my connections to faerie through the rocks, the tribes, the caves and crystals, and the dragon fire beneath the earth. Hence proclaiming my faerie self as 'The Tribal Earth Faerie' .....of late.... I have found myself diving into the depths of the Mermaid.....The Selkie....The Siren.....The Morgan....

To the Ancient Celts she was known as 'Murúch' - The Mermaid. Legend says she would tease men with her beauty. In folklore the 'siren song' of the Murúch was described as irresistible. It was said that the mermaids controlled the ocean and on the sea she was as wild as she was alluring, but on land she became shy and submissive without the power of ocean breath to fill her watery soul.

If love was an ocean I would dive to it depths without fear. I wouldn’t skim the surface, or dip but a toe to test the temperature. I would throw myself head first into its coolness and swim for the magick of what is beneath; the adventure of the other world; the mysteries……I would drown myself in surrender and be rebirthed with the pure love that is all around me.

Sometimes I feel like love is like an ocean, and we are all like mermaids that have forgotten we have the power to breathe there, and so we test the surface, stay where it is ‘safe’…fooled by the illusion of breath, conditioned to stay where it is safe ….. And all the while our true home calls us with every crashing wave….it’s a yearning….a longing for where we came from…..and maybe our truest breath will only be taken when we return home.....I feel over time I have moved from my cave of protection into an ocean of life.....I no longer want to be still as stone.....I want to be wild like the ocean. The challenge that brings to me is realised when I can't flow with my natural tide. Love has changed from being 'something I do' into 'a way of being' it creates a natural flow and a desire to let it rise, let it fall, let it calm and let it rage.....to dance the dance of the ocean and see where it takes me.....

‘If you desire true love…learn to love’ they say….. And love I do. I’ve known love so deep I tore my body to pieces to bring a life into the world,  and bleeding… with my head swimming on the verge of black out I still pulled that little body close and put her to my breast. I’ve known love so raw I gave up every ideal of those I loved to walk my own path to be true to it. I’ve been the fool. I’ve stood in the fire and I still shout ‘yes’ to the full moon…..I LOVE…..

Yet I have pretended….like so many others…..that  I am happy floating in the wave break and playing on the shore. Until the moments when my soul’s fire opens like its own sun and bursts light into my heart, its then that I see I can’t live this lie. I can’t breathe here. I want to dive. I want the world beneath. I need the depths…... I want to go home! I’ve reached the depths of my ocean, I know I can breathe a life in my world that fills my body with a love I could never find by living on the surface of myself; and I am willing to drown myself in its depths.

Yet I have played this game on the surface in the hope I will find a love who will be brave enough to breathe with me, that somehow he will take the plunge, follow my song in blind faith and discover what I’ve been trying to show him all this time, the mystery and beauties of life beneath the surface of himself.

It’s like there is a spell of deception that clouds the eyes of those who are tempted to see me….and my life becomes a raging ocean, a terrifying sea, shark infested and deadly…..and I am seen as the temptress that controls it......when in truth there is a strength, an ancient line of life giving, a creation……there is magick….there is beauty....there is flow. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who can see it….. And the heartbreak of loneliness that it brings is the only thing I fear drowning in.

I wish he would breathe our worlds together; with me…….

I know now that my place is within my own depths with the likewise souls that play here. Maybe my heartache comes from falling for those who are so attached to their humanness they no longer feel the yearning for the sea.....

'In the end what matters most is;

How well did you love?

How well did you live?

...and how well did you learn to let go'

I find strength in knowing I love well....I live well....and the beauty of the gifts of mermaid is the knowing she brings to respect the flow of love and life....despite the sadness and nostalgia for what might have been....there is a knowing that change will move and flow with the tides and I will flow with it in surrender.

What's meant to be will find a way........